The Hollywood Outsider – Film and Television Podcast | Reviews An award-winning film and television podcast for the fan in all of us
Well, it’s finally here! Marvel has unveiled its latest attempt at rebooting the stellar – though slipping – Spider-Man franchise, “Spider-Man: Homecoming”. The trailer above has been greeted with cheers of Marvel saving the day, as well as jeers of too-much-too-soon. As the Internet loves to do, it’s all over the place with its irrational joy and vile decadence. The middle ground has no place in today’s hypetastic interweb of absolutes.
So allow me to play devil’s advocate: “Spider-Man: Homecoming” looks entertaining enough, but as the trailer wrapped up (and the admitted excitement over arm-webs subsided), all I was left with was: “It looks fine”.
That’s right, not glee nor hate. Just fine. Looks like a Marvel movie. Looks like a new Spider-Man is taking hold. Looks like Birdman got a sequel of sorts. It. Looks. Fine. That isn’t me using the opportunity to be contrarian, I love all of the Spider-Man films thus far to varying degrees. Tobey was a great Peter, Garfield was a splendid Spider-Man, and I have no doubt Holland will astound on both counts. I absolutely love this character, Spider-Man IS my childhood.
But when I am one of the most bonkers Spider-Man fans I know – isn’t that how you’re supposed to support your position on the internet? – why am I not bouncing up-and-down in my Spideroos with the joy of seeing my childhood hero and mentor achieving cinematic glory? Especially now that Sony has partnered with Marvel to bring to life my favorite comic in only a way that they can? And tripled with the fact that, by everything I’ve seen here and in “Civil War”, Tom Holland looks to have nailed the psyche of both Peter and his alter-ego? WHY am I not pissing myself with squeeeeeeee?!
I’ve racked my brain for hours, and I think I can now explain my three reasons why this trailer just isn’t sticking for me.
1. It’s Too Soon
Can we please just acknowledge, no matter how much you love a character or a franchise, that rebooting for the third time in 15 years is just way too soon? I feel like we haven’t had any break from this franchise, and when you keep swapping leads in-and-out, it makes for a disjointed experience at best. Sure, I loved seeing Spidey zipping around a ridiculously oversized Ant-Man as much as the next geek with any semblance of street cred, but come ON! Fresh and exciting characters like Black Panther were pushed back for a character we’ve seen 5 times in a decade and a half, I feel like it’s almost Jack Sparrow at this point. Savvy?
And even though many are already pointing to the new John Hughes-esque tone, I am going to be the guy that says STAHHHP! If you think that quirky, bantering tone wasn’t already present in the “Amazing Spider-Man” series, you either weren’t paying attention or you are in a Marvel Denier Camp. I think Zack Snyder runs one of those. Throughout the trailer I saw numerous callbacks to set-pieces and arcs we’ve already seen: Vulture apparently stole the Green Goblin’s hoverboard, Spidey holding objects for public safety together with all of his might and web allowance, Peter having a heart-to-heart about his limitations, pining for a girl from afar, etc. We’ve been here before, we’ve done this. Stop telling me this is fresh produce, Internet. I’ve definitely had this salad before.
2. Secret Identities Aren’t So Secret
Marvel, you’re killing me, Smalls. How many times can we ensure a superhero’s identity is told to someone as soon as humanly possible? Isn’t this kind of a big deal in your comic books? Apparently you guys are fans of the DC TV lineup, as you’ve taken their cue and elected to make sure everyone who is even a random associate of your hero gets to know his true identity. I mean, why not? I know if I had an alter-ego that would threaten my closest friend’s very life force, I’d be sure to constantly get tripped up with sharing that info. Everybody needs an Emergency Contact, right?
Are there any heroes left in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) who actually maintains their anonymity? Do they just have Facebook accounts now to cut back on all the guesswork? I know many of you think it’s no big deal, and I wish I could pick up that torch and run with you, but it bugs my inner arachnid whenever this happens, especially in a Spider-Man movie. In the comics, Peter Parker is a caring, sweet nerd who would do anything to protect his identity from friends and foes alike. Not to say no one ever shared in his secret, but he sure wasn’t flaunting it and waving it around like he just took a selfie with Kanye. As soon as Peter’s friend surpassed all of that Spider-Sense and surmised who Peter truly is, my head hit the keyboard. So if you see a few too many hyphens in this article, now you know who to blame.
3. Robert Downey Jr Doesn’t Belong Here
Oh believe me, I’m aware this is sacrilege. How dare I take issue with Tony Stark, the Godfather of the MCU? Please. No one is knocking Downey Jr. The man single-handedly built the Marvel Universe as we know it and I have nothing by blind adoration for him, as he is easily one of my top 5 actors working today. I even enjoy him more as Sherlock Holmes than Cumberbatch. Take THAT, Internet!
That said, he doesn’t belong here. At all. Every frame he popped in, dropped me completely out of the trailer. Why? Because this pseudo mentor/Uncle Ben replacement aspect is, to me, an insult to the character as a whole. Do I think it will play out that way? That Marvel will let one of their babies be seen as anything but faithful to their history? Yes. I absolutely do.
Why? Because it’s Robert Downey Jr, and he’s the Destiny of the MCU Gentleman’s Club. His milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. His appearance here serves many aspects of what Marvel is trying to do, not the least of which is blend Spider-Man seamlessly into future Avengers movies and give Spidey any technical advantage Downey’s Tony Stark can muster. It’s a win-win for the studio and I completely get it. I just don’t like it.
It has been a concern for me since this move was announced, and this trailer confirmed every single fear I had about it. I can get past the fact that Aunt May is now played by the talented but WAY too young for the role, Marisa Tomei. I can skip over the repeated tropes from past films sold as NEW just because the Marvel logo shows up this time. I can even pass over Peter throwing his secret identity around like a speed round of lawn darts. What I can’t get over is how unnecessary Tony Stark is in his story, nor how this friendly advantage may – and I stress MAY – diminish the prominence of Peter’s brilliant intellect in solving his own conflicts. It’s just not a decision I can respect right now.
In the end, who knows how this will turn out? I sure don’t. This could be the greatest superhero film of all-time, and I have little doubt it will be an exciting entry in the MCU. But as a life-long fan of Spider-Man, I do have concerns. The internet can scold me all it wants, these are legitimate gripes for many fans, and ones that may or may not be solved when “Spider-Man: Homecoming” hits theaters on July 7th, 2017.
What I do know is that Sony placed all their bets on Marvel, and this is a huge gamble for both of them. Get it right, and a beloved character is saved from cinematic exile. Get it wrong, and the internet gates will be stormed.
I have my doubts, and as one of the greatest men I’ve even known once said, “With great power, comes great responsibility.”
Your move, Marvel.