Jurassic World Dominion (2022) | Film Review

In 1993, the entire world gasped and staggered as wondrously as Alan Grant did at the sheer achievement of Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park. Entire childhoods came roaring to life with the absolute beauty and terror represented on the silver screen: dinosaurs finally looked REAL! The CGI was amazing, the storytelling pitch-perfect, a stacked cast, and an infinitely rewatchable masterpiece of blockbuster moviemaking. Now, 29 years and 5 sequels later, Jurassic World Dominion seeks to bring the OJP crew back into the mix with Claire and Owen to end the journey.

After the events of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, dinosaurs have run amok and into the wild, even bleeding into our streets. As our world lives by the doctrine of NIMBY, a debate rages on if we should protect these animals or put them down at all costs. This all seems very minor in relativity to this film though, as a large portion of the plot here revolves around locusts. Yep, scientifically engineered locusts are ravaging the planet’s crops, and Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) believes this to be the work of BioSyn, a corporate monstrosity seemingly running a sanctuary for dinosaurs while secretly utilizing their genetic makeup to orchestrate a global cash grab. One which could effectively destroy millions of the world’s crops.

Of course, BioSyn – in one of many nods to Jurassic Park – is run by Lewis Dodgson (Campbell Scott), another Steve Jobs clone serving as master villain in a blockbuster film. Is this lame trope officially over yet? And has this series finally decided if BioSyn employee Dr. Henry Wu (BD Wong) is a villain or a misunderstood hero? Regardless, Ellie brings Alan Grant (Sam Neill) into the mix for as ridiculous a motive as you can imagine, and they run into Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum), who happens to also be working for BioSyn. The original gang is all here! Because REASONS!

Oh right, this series has other leads in Claire and Owen (Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt), I almost forgot about them with all of that delicious fan service casting. Since Fallen Kingdom left Claire and Owen on the run following their plan to free all of the dinosaurs onto the unsuspecting public, surely murdering thousands in the process, they have settled into a cozy winter cabin in the middle of nowhere.

Claire works with the Dinosaur Protection Group, essentially functioning as an activist anarchist who breaks into facilities and frees random dinosaurs, while Owen wrangles them up on horseback for sanctuary protection. Both are harboring a secret though, as Maisie (Isabella Sermon) – the cloned child from Fallen Kingdom – remains under their protection. Last but certainly not least, is Blue. The domesticated velociraptor resides in close proximity to Claire and Owen, and has miraculously produced a baby on its own. As Ian so famously stated, life finds a way.

All of our characters start to align after Maisie and Blue’s baby are kidnapped for more idiotic reasons, with the road headed directly back to BioSyn, where all of our characters will pair up and fight to end the series on a high note. We even get a couple of new additions, including Kayla (DeWanda Wise), a scene-stealing pilot who deserves a spin-off of her own. Hold on to your butts, because Jurassic World Dominion does not require your brain.

If you sensed sarcasm in the description, you are far more astute than most of writing is here. As far as the story is concerned, every aspect of Dominion is absolutely ludicrous. We finally have dinosaurs in the wild, and the best story the filmmakers could tell is for a maniacal corporate CEO to go industrialize locusts? There was even an exciting element of a dinosaur black market introduced here, which is then completely abandoned for more chaotic idiocy. Even dinosaurs storming the capitol or a Planet of the Apes crossover would have made more sense than the bonkers script Colin Trevorrow and Emily Carmichael have whipped up for this alleged concluding chapter.

Now, if you have read this far, you probably feel this is obviously one of those negative reviews where the critic spends the entire time shitting on yet another blockbuster. Wrong-O! I still had a dino-mite time at the theater with this moronic nonsense. It’s a monster movie, and just like most monster movies, it’s the people’s story that weigh it down. When director Colin Trevorrow remembers what we paid for and focuses on dinosaur action, Jurassic World Dominion is a blast!

A hectic set-piece in Malta as Claire and Owen both fight to escape laser targeted dino-assassins (which is as cool as it sounds), is one of the franchise’s best. Claire’s stealth jungle adventure is anxiety inducing. The final act is riveting whenever we are not worried or hearing about this stupid plot. There is a lot of fun to be had here, you just have to ignore the script and focus on what we all came for: dinosaurs attempting to chomp-chomp everyone on screen.

As far as the actors, you have seen them all before, so you know what to expect and they each deliver. Jeff Goldblum not only still looks fantastic, he steals every scene he is even adjacent to like a movie bandito, and becomes the one character you want to see in every scene that isn’t prehistoric. Sam Neill and Laura Dern have that easy chemistry you love to see reignited, while Howard and Pratt do their best to replicate this type of flame for another generation. Bryce Dallas Howard in particular proves to be the perfect heroine for the Jurassic World films. Pratt is focused and fun for sure, but Howard has put together a fully-fledged character over these three films and imbued Claire with growth and empathy, despite the writing not always supporting those elements. It is almost as if she has willed Claire into relevancy single-handedly. As a whole, the cast does everything possible to cover the flimsiness of the asinine script.

The effects have a few misses (which is shocking considering the 1993 original remains flawless), and with the nostalgia possibilities available here, it is tantamount to treason that we do not get a better use of the legacy characters. Malcolm in particular deserved sharper writing, and one can only imagine how bland his character might seem without the ever-present charisma and character tics of Jeff Goldblum.

Overall, Jurassic World Dominion is not the stellar end to the series as we hoped, but there remains a lot of fun to be had here. If story and careful plotting are important to you, I would recommend simply rewatching the original at home, or grabbing some Dinobots and getting creative. But if you want a bit of monster stomping, people chewing eye-candy with a cast giving their all to entertain us, then Dominion is just what your palette needs. Rawr.

Follow our further discussion on Jurassic World Dominion via this episode of The Hollywood Outsider podcast: