Holmes & Watson (2018) | Film Review

Following Step Brothers and Talladega Nights, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly team up yet again in Holmes & Watson. This go-round, Ferrell stars as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary detective, Sherlock Holmes, presented as a young genius whose excessive propensity for being bullied served as his trigger to repress emotion and focus on the complexities of his surroundings. This talent for honing in on the minute details ultimately enhances Holmes’ gift for crime-solving, and also is what finds his sidekick, John Watson (Reilly), buzzing about with constant adulation. Together, they have evolved into the most sought-after detective duo in the world (only Holmes repeatedly fails to acknowledge Watson’s contributions). After his arch-nemesis, Professor Moriarty (Ralph Fiennes), threatens to assassinate the Queen, Holmes must thwart the attempt and solve the case before it’s too late.

If only Holmes & Watson were even half as intriguing or plausible as that description. Written and directed by Ferrell’s Get Hard auteur, Etan Cohen, this script reads like a tornado of nonsense, forgetting its own narrative every time Holmes tries on another hat. Every attempt at a joke is yet another random musing on some idiotic notion that lacks even a hint of common sense. The character of Sherlock Holmes is ripe for comedy (the far superb Without a Clue, for example), yet never in 90 minutes did this film ever resemble anything more than bad Saturday Night Live sketches cobbled together in a hasty attempt to fund Ferrell and Reilly’s European vacations.

The humor repeatedly devolves into lame scrotum cracks, banging their heads against the wall of horrendous takes on modern conveniences (the selfie bit is more painful than the trailer warned), or attempts to parody the Robert Downey Jr films from several years back. Why? Who knows, but the target audience is firmly in the “Jude Law posts his bodily functions on Instagram” area of fandom. If you fall into that miniscule group, you’re in for a treat. In other words, Holmes & Watson reads like a script that was written five years ago by stoned teenagers, too lit to comprehend the definition of “funny”.

Will Ferrell sleepwalks through his role as Sherlock, offering nothing aside from a piss-poor English accent accompanied by the same schtick he’s done for 20 years, while Reilly’s Watson delivers a noticeably greater effort at provoking the absurd. This combination would work fine if any of the banter between he and Reilly actually clicked as it has in their previous films, it just doesn’t. It’s like watching two guys working the electronics counter at Target fight over who’s the funniest, and both are oblivious to how ridiculously moronic they sound. Meanwhile, you keep praying a manager will drop by and break this up because all you want to see are the new 4K TVs.

Whether it’s the material or a fundamental lack of interest, Holmes & Watson simply does not work on any level. The only “case” Holmes should be investigating is where the hell the plot to his film is, or possibly how they managed to talk Ralph Fiennes into taking part. Leaving aside the technical whiffs (including the worst ADR witnessed in many years), perfunctory location shots, and a horrendously bland script; Holmes & Watson still screams of missed opportunities. Ferrell and Reilly can be a formidable team, but both actors and their audiences deserved better than this for Christmas.

Most of us can appreciate a little dumb fun, unfortunately a meandering and witless script leaves Holmes & Watson far less than elementary. Simply put, this is one of the worst films of the year.