Deadpool (2016)| Film Review

‘It’s the most ridiculous, uproariously vile fun I’ve had in a theater in years.’

We could definitely play this straight. I could discuss the deep pathology of the character, the fractured psyche of a tortured soul, the brave turmoil the actors endured reimagining this forever-gestating attempt to bring ‘Deadpool’ to the screen. How, once upon a time, ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ allowed the “Merc With A Mouth” to have his mouth physically and thematically sewn shut. I mean, this character – and Ryan Reynolds, the actor portraying him – has had an epic journey of hellacious proportions, so you assuredly came here for introspection on everything it took to finally realize this hero of the ages for the big screen, right?

Much like Deadpool isn’t THAT kind of hero, this isn’t going to be THAT kind of review.

Instead, I’m going to tell you why this is the most insanely bombastic super-antihero to ever grace the Cineplex. Yes, I said ever. Too much hyperbole for ya? Sick of all the buzz and the non-stop marketing blitz? Prefer to be ‘The Guy’ that has to shit all over everything currently riding the popularity train? Then sit your ass at home and enjoy your cup of shut-the-hell-up, because all of the fun kids are already heading back to the theater in their big-boy-pants for another dose of a costumed sociopath making kabobs of random henchmen everywhere.

First showing up in ‘The New Mutants’ #98, Fabian Nicieza and Robert Liefeld created Deadpool with the idea that it was time to turn the comic-book hero genre on its ears. Everyone is so damn happy and heroic in these things, what if not every hero ultimately gave a lick? There have to be some that are stuck between great and sadistic, right? So they took a mercenary, a killer-for-hire, gave him a shot of Wolverine’s healing powers coupled with a tinge of Hannibal Lecter’s remorseless sensibilities, and tossed in Spider-Man’s quips for good measure (only dirtied up and ignoring the pause button), and BAM! You’ve got yourself Deadpool. Now, 25 years later, we are treated to the visual realization of that idea just when many are on the cusp of super-hero burnout (What, not you? Me either, but it sure seems like there is a ton of whining about it these days).

If the absolutely brilliant marketing campaign has yet to clue you in – complete with Deadpool offering ‘medical advice’ on testicular and breast cancer – ‘Deadpool’ tells the story of Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds), the aforementioned “Merc With A Mouth”. He’s a crass assassin who finds true love in the similarly damaged soul of Vanessa (Morena Baccarin, who finally puts her ‘Firefly’ role in the rear-view here). They spar back-and-forth with a kind of vulgarity that would make Billy Bob Thornton wince, and they also manage to convey the kind of heart commonly associated with Captain Rogers and Peggy Carter. Yea, I said it. They activated my chest muscle.

As fate and sarcastic Gods would have it, happy days never last long as Wade is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Vanessa wants to fight it, Wade wants to just let it win. A strange savior seems to arrive with a solution: Undergo an experimental procedure and your cancer will be erased forever. Too good to be true, one would think. Of course it is, you knew that before you ever walked into the theater. Wade is graced with near immortality – yes, he can even grow back dispatched limbs – but all at the expense of his chiseled face as his skin is horribly disfigured in the process. This sets our not-quite-a-hero on course to bring down the man who ultimately ‘did this to him’ in Ajax (Ed Skrein).

That’s right, Deadpool is not on a mission to save the world. He couldn’t care less about a mad plot to kill millions. There are no orphans to shelter or protect here. Nope. This guy wants revenge on the guy who made him an assassin impervious to death…and ugly. In a world obsessed with Kardashians and celebrity culture, where being pretty is far more important than being humane, could there BE a more perfectly on-the-nose motivation for a modern hero?

While I might not be suffering from the onslaught of superhero flicks as some, I sure am sick of the heft. We get it – the weight of the world is on your overpowered shoulders – but would it kill you to stop being a whiny bitch and crack a smile on occasion? Seriously. With the exception of maybe Tony Stark, every hero nowadays has to be ‘struggling’ with something that makes them about as fun to be around as Grandpa after you undercooked the turkey on Christmas Day. Guess what, not every hero has a heart-of-gold and having super powers might not be so damn burdensome, it could just be AWESOME, ya know? I know if I knew I could never die, I would probably make about 50 bonkers choices every single day, possibly on the hour, and I’d never, ever, shut up. Ever. ‘Look at me, I’m never gonna die, make me shut up!’ – I’d be the Cam Newton of superheroes.

After more commercials, YouTube videos, and promotions than any property outside of ‘Star Wars’, all you probably want to know is this – Is ‘Deadpool’ good? No. It’s not. ‘Thor’ was good. ‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ was good. ‘Man of Steel’ was good (shut up, it was). ‘Deadpool’ isn’t good, nor does he want to be. Mainstream conformity isn’t in his wheelhouse. Ryan Reynolds and Deadpool are the perfect fit of actor and character, and neither of them have any interest in living up to the noble standards of all of those Marvel or DC flicks you want to reference as comparison for EVERY comic-book flick known to man. This one is special.

‘Deadpool’ is what happens when talented people – like director Tim Miller and actors like Reynolds, T.J. Miller, and Skrein – toss tropes into a dumpster fire of nopes, kick dignity and human decency to the wind, slap on some leather, grab a few pistols, a pair of katanas, and commit to making the most balls-out (literally) theme park ride of cinematic superhero mayhem audiences have ever been blessed with. Parents will be flustered, uptight yuppies will be disgusted, and fans will be hopping in their seats with the kind of joy typically reserved for next-in-line at the bouncy castle.

So no, it isn’t good. It’s the most ridiculous, uproariously vile fun I’ve had in a theater in years.

‘Deadpool’ is my kind of god-damn hero.