Children of the Corn (2023) | Film Review

One thing no one can say about Children of the Corn, Stephen King’s short story about a struggling couple happening upon a town run by evil children, is that there just have not been enough attempts to get it right. The amount of films in this series has already eclipsed double digits, and now Equilibrium director Kurt Wimmer has arrived to offer one more stab at the concept. Writer-director Wimmer is intent on splashing his own take with this reimagining, tackling a prequel that explains exactly how these kids managed to lock down an entire town full of adults.

Children of the Corn opens with a mass gassing of a group of kids in a small Nebraska town, seemingly as part of an attempt to stop one teen murderer. Quite possibly the worst plan ever. It is a ghastly opening that should be much more horrific than it is, mostly because the idea makes no rational sense, and everyone involved should be on death row. The murderer’s sister, Eden (Kate Moyer), escapes into a cornfield and reemerges a changed child. She has a new obsession with The Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland, as well as a curious fascination with an unseen entity she claims to have met… known only as “He Who Walks”.

The town hedged their bets on genetically modified corn and lost everything when the crops went to hell, so the adults have decided to sign up for a new government program that firmly puts corn in the town’s rear-view mirror. The children vehemently disagree with this choice and – shocker – the parents do not care. Apparently, none of these adults have ever seen one of the many Children of the Corn movies, because you know what’s going to happen next.

Slowly but surely, Eden corrals the town’s youth and begins a mission to selectively murder or imprison all of their town’s adult population. Seemingly the only person in Eden’s way is Boleyn (Elena Kampouris), a rebellious teen on her way to college whose father appears to be blissfully unaware their entire town is under siege from tweens. And this is where the most difficult aspects of Children of the Corn reside: every event in this film is completely unbelievable, and I am not even talking about the corn demon.

Maybe one adult in the entire film gives a real GO at trying to push-back on these tiny people shoving them around with hammers and pitchforks. Many walk willingly into certain death or a blood-soaked sacrifice pit without an iota of fight in them. It’s mind-bogglingly easy for Eden and friends to take over an ENTIRE TOWN in what seems like the span of 24 hours. Stephen King’s original story has a terrifying backdrop, but you have to believe these kids could pull off one helluva feat to achieve this, and nowhere is that plausible in this film.

Coming out strongest, despite a rather mundane cast, is Kate Moyer. Though Eden is diabolical, Moyer sells it with her all. With a stronger story, this performance could have sailed and proven Eden to be a formidable force of wrath. Instead, this tiny tyrant is left with nothing but corn rows to help her evil plan.

Wimmer’s script has some interesting ideas, the effects work is solid, and Jacob Shea and Tim Count’s score is rather pulse-pounding. But ultimately there are too many missteps and eye-rolling contrivances to ever truly sell the audience on everything they need to believe to truly enjoy this. Frankly, He Who Walks himself seems far more realistic.