Bullet Train (2022) | Film Review

In a world overrun by actors searching for their next potential blockbuster action franchise, Brad Pitt is an anomaly. Aside from Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Troy, and the occasional supporting role or cameo; this is a guy with the looks, physique, and charm to kick-ass on movie screens for decades, yet continuously elects for more dramatic fare. It’s almost as if Pitt is blissfully unaware that he is the movie star total package. Now, Brad Pitt is back on the rails for director David Leitch (Deadpool 2, Atomic Blonde) in the nonstop thrill ride, Bullet Train.

Based on Kôtarô Isaka’s novel, Brad Pitt stars as Ladybug, the self-professed most unlucky snatch-and-grab artist in the game. His handler (whose voice and retorts alone will turn that frown upside down) assigns him a “simple” job: hop on the bullet train in Tokyo, grab a briefcase full of “we’ll find out later”, hop off, head to the next job. If you caught the opening of this paragraph, then you realize things will not go off without a hitch. This job is far more complicated than Ladybug ever expected, as it turns out multiple assassins are on this very train, all with their own backstory and outlook on the complexities of life, and they also want this case. Think The Seven Samurai if they all worked against each other and rode trains instead of horses.

Ladybug is skilled in the art of protecting his own derrière, though he is seeking spiritual enlightenment at every turn on a quest for inner peace. It is a character tic played for both fun and actual growth, and Brad Pitt is probably one of the few actors who can pull it off without it becoming grating 30 minutes in. Even with his ridiculous hat and black-rimmed glasses. Pitt glides in-and-out of scenes and brutally staged fights with his typical precision, effortlessly keeping the audience connected with his hit-it-and-quit-it style as numerous characters zip through every stop along this route. Oh, the money I’d make if I could just bottle this guy’s charisma and sell it on the open market.

Along for the ride are Lemon and Tangerine (Brian Tyree Henry and Aaron Taylor-Johnson), two bestie assassins tasked with caring for the case as well as the son of a lethal crime boss known only as “The White Death”. Henry and Taylor-Johnson’s banter is so quick and engaging, you would think they both took a bump of LSD at every stop along this route. Also, their relationship is surprisingly moving. Whether it is debating over their shared number of kills or which person fits which choo choo from Thomas the Tank Engine, Lemon and Tangerine are a delightfully energetic duo worthy of a spin-off all on their own.

But wait, there’s more. Bad Bunny stars as Wolf, an assassin on a personal mission to avenge his family. Credited as Benito A Martínez Ocasio, Wolf gets very little to do except stare angrily into the camera while lowering his head, like a child scowling after momma took away his PS5. Andrew Koji as Kimura, a father protecting his child, is dour and focused most of the film, but if you have ever seen Warrior, you know he deserves his own David Leitch directed action flick STAT. Joey King is Prince, a snarky Gen-Z wannabe assassin who is more cunning than anyone will ever give her credit for. And the legendary Hiroyuki Sanada as The Elder, Kimura’s father with a sordid yet connected past all on his own. I have not even mentioned the sheer glee at the cameos popping up throughout the film (and I won’t to prevent spoiling a few surprises).

Director David Leitch was a renowned stuntman before he turned director, one who has quickly established himself as a conductor of chaos in the action realm, and Bullet Train is no exception. The action is fluid and artistically brutal, capturing numerous fighting styles, cultures, and techniques. Every piece feeds another, connecting the film car-by-car. Leitch has been a master of this style of filmmaking for years, crafting a decimating takedown in tight spaces is kind of his forte.

While the film is not built to slow down for character growth, Leitch manages more than a few moments of heart before promptly reverting back to high-octane thrills. The last 20 minutes of Bullet Train does veer off the tracks a bit, but overall Leitch somehow shepherds this extremely fast-paced film with relative ease. With each turn at director, Leitch garners a stronger sense of narrative flow, making every future project that much more enticing.

Bullet Train is a clever, sharp, interconnected, witty, glossy, action set piece full of Brad Pitt cashing in on a life of being the coolest dude on the planet with a cast that came to dance and stacks of random cameos. Grab your best friends, head to the largest movie theater you can find, and prepare to fist-pump your ass off.